Today I opened the door of my van to get out and go into my house. In my haste exit, and with 250 things already on my mind, I did not notice that the van door was swinging back toward me. As I stood up, it hit me square in the forehead. I stumbled backward and saw stars. Then I looked to see if anyone else had noticed what happened. Let me tell you, I felt pretty stupid.
A large knot quickly developed between my eyes. Then I realized that the swelling was filling in the wrinkles on my forehead. I was elated. I discovered something better and cheaper than Botox! Just knock yourself in the forehead to induce constant swelling. I felt pretty smug and young looking.
Unfortunately, while having lunch with some friends, they informed me that the area below my eyes was turning purple. I was developing two black eyes. Now I felt stupid again because how was I going to explain this without looking like a complete idiot?
I do, however, still like the swelling. Better to look young and stupid than just plain old.