My niece, Laura, married the handsome and sweet man of her dreams, Alan Casey, this past weekend. Hard to believe all of that planning and anticpation is over for her mom and, so some extent, all of us. Laura and Alan have the rest of lives to plan and anticipate.
Did I tell Laura that she is too young to make such a huge, life decision? Did I tell her that she will change so much in the next ten years that she couldn't possibly know if this is the man that the woman she will become will still love? Did I tell her how very hard it is and how she will undoubtedly have some regrets?
I knew she wouldn't listen. Just like I wouldn't have listened when I got married even younger than she. As adults, we want so badly to save our children from the pain of the decisions that we made. We want them to learn from our mistakes.
What we must realize is that it is the pain that made us the adults we are now. It is working through our growth that makes our marriages and ourselves stronger. The investment in the heartache is the glue that bonds our futures together. If that is true, then the decision wasn't really a mistake at all.
To Laura and Alan, I wish you joy, kindness, patience and friendship. I wish you a peacful ride on the ebb and flow of love. A wise person once said that the secret to a long and happy marriage is to never fall out of love at the same time. Very true words, indeed.
And since my boys will not allow me take a photo without doing a crazy photo:
Thank you all so much for your prayers and words of encouragement. Luke is doing so much better. I didn't want to post a photo of him because he actually looks worse. His rope burns have started to scab and bruises are coming up. The swelling in him mouth and cheeks, however, is going down.
Monday I had a moment of insanity and thought that the tooth we are trying to save had moved in his mouth. It really looked like it was too deep in his mouth. I called Dr. Bertot and again he said to bring him right in. He took a good look at Luke's mouth and asked me where I thought there was a problem. Apparently, the tooth was just fine and I felt like an idiot. Secretly, I was happy to have it confirmed that everything looked good.
Dr. Bertot referred us to an Endodontist. In a couple of weeks, Luke will have the first of several root canals. We haven't told him about this yet.
Apparently I was suffering a bit of PTSD. When one of Dr. Bertot's dental assistants remarked that the rope could have snapped Lukie's neck, I started to tear up. It just seemed so real that we could have so easily lost him. I was weepy the rest of the day.
Today Luke went back to school to go on a field trip to Kennedy Space Center. I was worried that it would be too much for him, but he was so excited to go that I couldn't say no. He has been so down. I knew it would be better for him to try to get his life back to normal.
Meanwhile, Luke has been the center of attention and he is eating it up. He made me read the name of every person who commented about him on Facebook. He beamed and said "That's people on three different continents." If I can just get my friend, Jana, in Australia to comment, he will have four continents!
He has received gifts, flowers and even a cake. The best thing was get well cards from everyone in the third grade. The cards were so creative and sincere. He and I both really appreciated them.
Since I am not posting photos, I will leave you with some of the funniest cards that Luke received from his friends. Eight and nine year olds are great.
"Luke get well soon. I like pie!"
"Hey Luke I went kayaking for the first time on Sunday, May 2nd 2010, but today is May 3rd, 2010. Hope you get well soon."
"I thought that I would try to make you laugh, but Jack [Hudson] says you have a knot on you so I'm not trying to make you laugh."
And finally, my very favorite:
A crayon drawing of a mouth with black and purple teeth falling out.
I have said it so many times on this blog that I actually have a category for it. I am so blessed and lucky. I always keep that close to my heart. Even when I am in my darkest places, I know this to be true. Really, when I am in my darkest places, I feel guilty that I am there. How can I be sad when I have so much?
Lately though, that good feeling has been coming back to me little by little. It is a place of happiness and contentment that I haven't felt in a long time - at least a year. It causes tears to well up in my eyes because I actually feel grateful for the smallest things. Colorful flowers in the Spring. A bike ride to get a pedicure. The smell of jasmine in the night air when I let Bella out before bed. These are the things that bring happiness to my life. After a long, hard Fall and Winter, I'm glad I found them again.
Kal Barteski I am an artist of life. I create in paint, words, colours, letters and design. I am the principal designer at iDeaMonsters and the creator of LoveLife... all in chilly Winnipeg, Manitoba CANADA www.ideamonsters.com & www.love-life.ca