My niece, Laura, married the handsome and sweet man of her dreams, Alan Casey, this past weekend. Hard to believe all of that planning and anticpation is over for her mom and, so some extent, all of us. Laura and Alan have the rest of lives to plan and anticipate.
Did I tell Laura that she is too young to make such a huge, life decision? Did I tell her that she will change so much in the next ten years that she couldn't possibly know if this is the man that the woman she will become will still love? Did I tell her how very hard it is and how she will undoubtedly have some regrets?
I knew she wouldn't listen. Just like I wouldn't have listened when I got married even younger than she. As adults, we want so badly to save our children from the pain of the decisions that we made. We want them to learn from our mistakes.
What we must realize is that it is the pain that made us the adults we are now. It is working through our growth that makes our marriages and ourselves stronger. The investment in the heartache is the glue that bonds our futures together. If that is true, then the decision wasn't really a mistake at all.
To Laura and Alan, I wish you joy, kindness, patience and friendship. I wish you a peacful ride on the ebb and flow of love. A wise person once said that the secret to a long and happy marriage is to never fall out of love at the same time. Very true words, indeed.
And since my boys will not allow me take a photo without doing a crazy photo: