Oh Look, It's Her Birthday!

This is my sister, Leesa.

She was probably about five or six in this picture. She's looking so cute in her sailor dress.

This is her high school graduation photo, in the flower of her youth.

Most people don't even know that I have a sister. That's because after this photo was taken she ran away and joined the circus. Our family disowned her when she fell in love with bearded woman and moved to Massachusetts where they could legally marry.

Okay, that's not true.

After this photo was taken, she moved to Mumbai where she was horribly disfigured in a tiger attack. Don't worry about her though. She won a million dollars playing the Indian version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire and married her childhood sweetheart.

No, that's not true either. It's a cool story - could probably win an Oscar or something.

Most of my friends don't know about my sister because she is WAY, WAY, WAY older than me. She's like nine and a half years older. Which makes her really old now. Old.

We weren't really close when we were growing up. We were always at such different places in our lives. It's almost like were each an only child. She had my parents all to herself the first nine years of her life. I had my parents to myself the second nine years of my life, after she went to college and then got married. If you think about it, we sort of had different parents and childhoods, too.

Her parents were young. She was the first born, the new baby. They were learning to be parents with her. By the time I came along, my parents were seasoned veterans. They had been through it before with Leesa, so they kind of knew what to expect.

Leesa grew up in Tennessee with my big extended family. I grew up in Florida with our little family of three.

But now that we've, um, matured... we have so much more in common. She has four children and I have three. She has mellowed and so have I. Life has taught us both a lot of lessons.

I feel like after all of these years, I finally have a sister. Someone I can call when I need to talk. Someone I can tease and laugh with. I'm so glad that I have a sister.

I just hope she never finds out that she was adopted.

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Leesa, a birthday song for you.

Happy birthday to you.

Now stop feeling blue.

Just go out and party.

Now you're an old farty.