Duct Tape & WD-40

Pretending That I Never Stopped Blogging At All..

I'm starting off slow and easy by linking to a post by another blogger. I have written several posts on this same topic, but have never written anything better than this.

www.momastery.com

Favorite Photo Friday - The Face of The Swine

The Swine (oops, I mean, H1N1 my apologies to pigs) Flu made its second visit to our household this week. This time it was Jack and me. I don't want to make light of what can be a deadly illness, but for us, it was kind of a dud. Fever, headaches and a little upset stomach was what it gave us for almost 5 days. 

One night Jack did manage to scare me when his fever reached 104.5! That was not a happy place to be. He had full doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol and it was still raging. I put him in a tepid bath and he cried because he said it was cold. That fever wouldn't budge. Of course, I am all over the internet Goggling high fever, wanting to know when to push the panic button. Every site I went to said that 104 was very high, but 106 was dangerous and could cause brain damage. Well, we are talking about a degree and a half here people! A degree and a half separates "Oh don't worry, it's just his body's way of fighting off a very nasty bug." and "Call 911, he's going to be a vegetable." Oh yeah, and what if my thermometer is off and it was actually higher?

So, as I often do, I gave the Universe and ultimatum. I said that I would give it one more hour and if that fever did not break, I was taking him to the E.R. Well, this time the Universe backed down and so did his fever.

For the next three days, it hovered around 100 degrees - same for me. Jack acted like he felt fine. He just got to stay in his jammies and watch T.V. all day - same for me. Gary and Karen really stepped in to pick up the slack.

Now I wouldn't wish illness on anyone. But this Swine Flu had a couple of enjoyable side effects. It forced me to slow down. I didn't feel stressed about how much was not getting done, because I physically couldn't do it. Guilt free down time - NICE! Plus there is nothing like not being able to do something that makes me really want to do it. For example, I always want to start a new running program when I have blown out my knee. I was almost annoyed that I couldn't work on de-cluttering my house, preparing for our move. I was just too tired and running a fever, after all.

Second, I had my "baby" back. Jack is becoming so independent, but when he was sick he just wanted Mommy. He snuggled with me and slept with me and watched TV with me in the quarantined  "sick room." It seems like it has been so long since I have been a needed and wanted Mommy. I ate it up.

Jack enjoyed his week of unlimited T.V. and video games, but he started to get bored today. I guess we are both ready to join the living again.

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So I missed Favorite Photo Friday last week. I said that I had a technical difficulty which was not untrue. The problem - I thought I knew what I wanted to write about, but when the time came I just couldn't do it. The post was going to be titled "An Attitude of Gratitude" and it was going to be all about fighting my depression by being thankful and grateful for a day of blessings. I learned this technique many years ago while reading the book Simple Abundance. Oprah recommended it you know! And it really works. It gives you a different perspective on your life.

But Internet, I just couldn't write that post. I can't lie to you Internet (except about my weight. I'll always lie about my weight. And probably my age.... but nothing more. I swear!) I was just in an awful mood and I couldn't muster the "HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!" that I needed to have for that post. I was all gloom, doom and everything sucks and my-best-friend-is having-a-great-time-in-Texas-while-I-am-home-taking-care-of-her-kids-and-she-totally-deserves-this-break-with-her-husband-and-I-am-so-glad-that-I-could-help-it-happen-but-I-would-much-rather-be-WITH-her-in-Texas-than-here-with-6-boys-but-just-as-well-that-I-didn't-go-because-I-probably-would-not-have-come-back-and-that-would-be-worser (yes, "worser" is a word in the Hudson household)-because-that-would-mean-that-I-chose-Texas-over-my-current-life-and-oh-yeah-I-hate-Texas.

So I took Thumper's dad's advice "If you can't say (write) anything nice. (sigh) Don't say nothing at all."

Learn Something New Everyday

Some of you may be familiar with the scrapbooker, teacher, blogger, cupcake maker, Shimelle Laine. She is known for her annual class, Journal Your Christmas. I try to do this every year and usually end up with only a few journal pages. This year she offered another class that stared on September 1st called Learn Something New Every Day. Basically, she gives you writing prompts and art journaling/scrapbooking ideas every day in September. The idea is to learn something new about yourself everyday and document it.

Now I haven't been bitching much about it here, but if you follow my tweets, you know that I am completely overwhelmed in my life right now. I certainly don't need to take on another project. The reason I decided to do this, however, is because Shimelle gives us participants digital templates for everything. All I have to do is plug in my information and photos. Quick and easy and I get to do something creative. Plus I am not pressuring myself to do it everyday. Some days I learn the same lesson over and over again!

So, I give you my first entry for September 1, 2009. Most of the elements on the page are created by Shimelle. I did, however, create the background paper (although it is almost an exact copy of Shimelle's page) and the date label tape at the bottom.

Yesterday, I had to literally be four places at once. Somehow, I worked it out so that Karen took care of one thing, Gary took care of another and I took care of two things at once. What were they? Well, I had open house at the little boys school last night. I was supposed to speak to the assembled parents, so I needed to look presentable. As I drove Cole to all of his therapy appointments, I had my hair in knotted in little buns all over my head to make my hair curl without frizzing in the rain.

I was barely late picking up Cole from school, so I had to get out of my car and walk through campus to aftercare looking like this. Children laughed when I walked into the room. Then I took him to PT, then a quick trip to a furniture store and another evening activity without taking my hair down. Oh I forgot we went through the McDonalds drive through and got gas and a snack at 7-11, too.

I put my make-up on in the Publix parking lot 15 minutes before open house began.

September 1, 2009 - Mission Accomplished!

1. picked up Cole from his school

2. had Luke and Jack picked up from their school (Karen)

3. got gas and a snack

4. Cole to PT

5. homework done for Luke and Jack (Karen)

6. peanut butter sandwich for Luke before football practice (Karen)

7. get Luke in pads and take him to football practice (Karen)

8. check out Labor Day sale at Robb and Stucky

9. McDonalds drive through for Cole's dinner

10. take Cole to activity in Winter Park

11. put on make-up

12. go to open house, make speech about joining Parent Club

13. Cole picked up from Winter Park (Karen)

14. text Gary reminding him to pick up Luke and get fast food for Luke, Jack and himself.

15. meet with Luke's third grade teacher and hand out invites to my birthday party

16. skip out last part of open house and head home in the rain

17. get home and find out that Gary did not read my reminder text. He remembered Luke all by himself. He didn't know to bring home food.

18. make Cole and Jack take showers (Luke already showered) while Gary goes back out for dinner

19. make myself Lean Cuisine (BTW Lean Cuisine not helping blooming weight problem)

20. eat quick dinner with the family.

21. put boys in bed

22. read e-mail that has been neglected all day

23. help Gary make template for lettering on new Outsource trucks.

24. pay 3 big bills online.

25. GO TO BED

Oh Boy! A Postcard from the Front Line

Thank you to everyone with their sweet, encouraging comments about my last post. Not just on this blog, but in person and through e-mail. Sometimes you think you are all alone in your feelings, especially the ones that you feel horrible to even think, much less admit to anyone.  Then you find out that so many people are going through the EXACT SAME THING. It certainly helps to put things into perspective.

I may not be at the best place in my life right now, but I never lose sight of the fact that I am truly, truly blessed an lucky.

There are a couple of other things that are contributing to my melancholy.

1. I actually am hormonal right now.

2. I am extremely tired and stretched very thin. You see, when school starts in August, there are lists posted for parents to volunteer to help in the classroom throughout the year.  Well, in August, April seems soooooooooo far away. I always think that I am too busy in the Fall and Christmas, so I will do a lot in the Spring. Remember I have three boys in three different classrooms. So I sign up for lots of things and then comes April when I am shocked to find out that I said I would this and this and this and this and this......

I am completely responsible for a lot of thing that need to be done in the next three weeks.  I am completely overwhelmed.

This isn't the first year I have made this mistake. I did it last year too and ended up spending a month at the beach feeling so shell shocked that I couldn't even watch TV!

I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE NEXT YEAR!

I am going to set a firm number of things that I will do throughout the year and stick to it.

I have also realized that although I now have household/nanny help for almost 30 hours a week, I am still freaked out. That is because I have filled the extra time that Karen has allowed me to have with more stuff to do with the kids and school. The extra time was supposed to allow me to breathe.  I must work on this problem. I want to fill the extra time (at least most of it) with creativity  - art, writing and photography.

So, to go back to my soldier at war analogy, maybe I could say now that he is still committed to a job he does not like, but he is being transfered from the front lines to a resort city in Dubai. He would rather be home and doing his own thing, but it is not the hell and horror of war.

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My post title suggests a postcard and here it is.

London has sidewalk stands selling beautiful flowers on what seems like every corner. I'm always drawn to them and these caught my eye on the last day of my trip. It was all I could do to keep myself from buying them, but I knew I couldn't take them with me.

I have never in my life seen these round flowers.  The signs says they are Rununculas and they may have become my new favorite flower. I love their round layers.

Or Maybe I'm Just Hormonal

While in London, I indulged my obsession with paper, patterns, print and words by stopping by a card shop at the Kensington High Street tube station. I was looking for anything that caught my eye or seemed particularly English (that's for you, Mark).  How could I pass this one up? I also collected another one that said "So You Are Leaving? Well Piss Off Then" and another that simply said "Shit."

So that is the humorous part of this post. The rest is going down hill, so you might just want to click away.

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I can finally say that I am seeing some light, but I am still so very sad. I am having such a hard time readjusting to life post-London. I started organizing the video I took over there and I had to stop because it made me cry. I didn't really expect this. Like I said in my last post, I'm trying to process and reconcile it all.

I'm sad because being away made me realize how miserable I am in my life right now. Okay, "miserable" is too strong a word. How about unhappy?

Remember last year when my "one little word" was BLOOM, as in bloom where you are planted?  That was so on target for me. I have made choices in my life that caused me to be planted in my current situation. I have so little patience for people who sit around and say "life is awful" but won't do anything to change it. If I have planted myself here, then I will do what it takes to be happy and satisfied here. I choose to bloom.

But being in London, having that all too brief taste of freedom and fun, reminded me that I don't like where I am planted and I am forcing myself to bloom.

Now I overanalyze a lot. I promise you that I look at everything six ways to Sunday.  I am well aware that my time in London is not what real life would be like if I lived there and didn't have a husband and kids. My trip was a fairytale where I was treated like a princess. I did whatever I wanted. I indulged in everything. I spent loads of money. I am not silly enough to think that that could continue.

But the contrast between that and my life here is causing a lot of pain at the moment. I love my husband. I love my children. That is why I came back. I have committed to them and I will not let them down. I will not run away. I will not leave them. I will not give up on them or my life. I will continue to give them my very, very best.

But, oh God, I hate the crushing responsibility of it all. I hate consulting and considering four other people when making decisions. I hate making decisions! I hate putting everything and everybody's needs ahead of my own. I hate wondering "What if?" I hate Orlando. I hate making lunches and dinner. I hate helping with homework. I hate watching Cole struggle and witnessing his pain. I hate making the best of a bad situation. I hate blooming!

I've got to pull it all back together and squash this rebellion in me. My situation will not change for at least another ten years. And who knows how much it will change then? Actually, I don't want it to change because that would mean a life without Gary or my kids and I DON'T WANT THAT. I've just got to get used to it again.

I wonder if it is kind of like a solider at war who has gotten a furlough to come home for a week. Home is great. People are happy to see him. Special parties are given for him. He gets to eat home cooking and all his favorite foods. He gets spend time with the people that he loves - people that he misses so much when he is gone. He gets to watch TV and control the remote!

But then he has to go back to the base. He must leave what he loves to return to what he hates. He must submit to authority. He must experience the horror and fear that is war. How does he do it?

He must just readjust. I guess because even war and all that bad stuff has its good moments. Maybe he takes comfort in the few benefits. Sure he would rather be home, but he has made friends in his unit. He is constantly seeing and learning new things.  He readjusts because has made a commitment. He has no other choice. He has to honor his contract. He has to complete his tour of duty and make it out alive.

So there you have it internet. I have just compared my life to that of a soldier fighting in Iraq. And that, people, has made me laugh out loud!  Could I be any more self-centered???

See, I told you the light is starting to shine though the clouds. I am readjusting.

I thought of these words today and they resonated with me. "To everything there is a season." Then I remembered that Bruce Springsteen has sung those words, too. It was here in Orlando when Roger McGuinn came on stage to perform "Turn, Turn, Turn" with him. You can download the video from iTunes if you would like to see it. It seems almost too connected not to take it to heart.

I also read this entry and this entry from one of my favorite blogs and felt better knowing that I am not the only mother to ever feel that all this work might not be greatest thing I ever do.  Motherhood and marriage is hard and sometimes it totally sucks.

Or maybe I'm just hormonal.

P.S. I hate going on school field trips, too.

THE FAMILY MEMBER

This is a story about the second horror of January. This one is a tricky story to tell because I have to change the names and the details. I don’t want to change the names and the details. The star of this story is not innocent. I think this person deserves to be outed to the entire world. I believe that everyone should know the truth about this person.  But, out of respect for people that I love dearly, the same people that love this person dearly, I will try to hide this person’s true identity. From this point on, this person will be known as THE FAMILY MEMBER.

About the same time that we learned of Cole’s diagnosis, we received a call from THE FAMILY MEMBER.  Like Cole’s diagnosis, it wasn’t a complete surprise.  We knew this was coming for a while.

THE FAMILY MEMBER was completely out of money.  THE FAMILY MEMBER was on the verge of losing everything and was calling on the Hudson family government for a bailout. THE FAMILY MEMBER requested a bailout package of almost $8,000.  Oh and something in THE FAMILY MEMBER’S house (the same house that was receiving threatening letters from the bank) needed to be replaced at a cost of about $3,500. 

Unlike the United States government, the Hudson family government was not just going to write a blank check. The Hudson family government could not afford to write a check The Hudson family government knew that THE FAMILY MEMBER would just keep coming back for another bailout.  The Hudson family was going to have to do a government take-over.

How did THE FAMILY MEMBER get into such a dire situation? Well, I can’t really tell you.  I will honestly tell you that it was not drugs or alcohol.  Let’s just say it is something like a gambling addiction.  (It is NOT a gambling addiction.) You know how a gambler keeps chasing that one big win.  He loves the high he gets from winning and can’t stop gambling to get it? Well this is very very similar to it.

I was upset about now having to support THE FAMILY MEMBER.  I was enraged at the position THE FAMILY MEMBER was putting my husband in.

Since my boys were born, I have occasionally experienced what I call the “momma lion syndrome.”  If you have kids, you have probably experienced it, too.  When you perceive a threat to your family, you find nerve and resolve to defend it at any cost.  This liberal pacifist could turn into a murdering lunatic to protect what I love. (Now they can use this post against me at my murder trial!)

Now I don’t need to kill anyone, but there is a definite threat to my family.  My husband is so sad and stressed out about THE FAMILY MEMBER.  This is really all my dear, single tasking man can handle. He is facing a sobering truth about someone he truly respected and admired.

He is dealing with this, when I really need him to be a part of the team that helps Cole. I can’t do it on my own. Yet right now, I feel like this is all on my shoulders.

Well, it’s March now and things are sorting themselves out. So far, THE FAMILY MEMBER bailout is going better than expected. The problem won’t go away anytime soon, but Gary and I agree on the way to handle it.  We are trying to limit our exposure.

And that’s all I am going to say about that.

Probably one last short post on the January horrors and then I will put that awful month behind me. In the mean time, I am getting ready for my trip to London next week.  Don’t worry. I’ll have my phone, laptop and of course, camera with me, so it will be like you are going right along, too. Free wi-fi at my hotel – can I hear a wOOt!

Christmas Goodness in Full Swing

Hello bloggity readers on the world wide web. It would be redundant to say that I have been busy. But it is the Christmas season and I know that, just like me, you are all overwhelmed and crazy. But I have the seasonal cure. DRINK ADULT EGG NOG. Seriously, only once a year do you have such an excuse to indulge in high fat, sugar, cholesterol and alcohol. Imbibe internet! And that's all I will say about that.

This year, many people are getting handmade gifts from me.  I'm not blaming the economy and trying to be frugal.  I am just trying to simplify. There are people on my list that really don't NEED or WANT FOR anything. What do you get these people? More stuff? Just for the sake of giving a gift? So for these people, I have decided to give something of and from me.

I hope they like it, because I guarantee that I spent a lot of time on it and I wouldn't have bothered if they were not VERY special to me. So, unless I found the "perfect" gift for you, I am making the perfect gift.

I can't wait to post some pics, but some will have to wait until AFTER Christmas.  Here, however, is one thing.  I made this blanket for a teacher/friend who is expecting her third girl any day.  Once again I thought, "This girl has two kids worth of baby stuff and is getting more daily. I don't want to give her more STUFF. I want to give her something special."

I call it "Reinventing the Wheel."

Sorry for the stinky photos.

Why such a name for a pink baby blanket? Because I couldn't find a pattern, so I just made it up. I don't mean that in an "I'm so creative I can design my own patterns" way. I mean I didn't know what I was doing and it took forever.

I based it on a blanket that I saw on another website, but there were no directions. The whole time that I was cutting fabric the wrong size and trimming things that weren't straight and tearing out uneven seems, I was thinking that somewhere there were directions for what I was doing. Someone had tried this and failed and worked on it until it was perfect, then sold that knowledge in the form of a pattern. I am figuring out what someone has already thought out!

It ended up looking like I made it in my 7th grade home ec class.  But, if I had wanted to give her a perfect blanket, I would have bought one.

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This is one of the reasons I am so glad that school is finally out for Christmas break. These are all of the teacher and staff gifts that I took to school with me on Friday. Actually, this story deserves it own post, so I will hold off for now. Let's just leave it at I had a hard time delivering them all because I was one of the mothers in charge of the second grade Christmas party.  Thanks to Blair, Jackie and Tiffany who let me be somewhat of a slacker.

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Finally, the most important part of this post. Don't let anyone ever say that reading blogs is a waste of time because this time you will learn something worth $5.00.

Costco has the big mega bottles of Grey Goose Vodka on sale for $5 off through Christmas Eve. They also have Bailey's for $3.00 off. Stock up people because this is a good deal. It doesn't go bad, so buy as many as you can afford. I could only afford 2 so it will only last me through next week.