Duct Tape & WD-40

Something You Don't See Everyday

So we are in the RV for the evening. Gary and the boys are watching a DVD. I'm looking at our trip details when I see something out the front window

Oh, it's just a herd of buffalo mamas and babies grazing through our campground in Yellowstone.

That's our site's picnic table. Seems they wandered up from our backyard.

See that look on Jack's face? He is trying to smile and be brave, but it is really a look of total fear. You see, all over the park you find all of these signs warning you to stay away from the wildlife. Big fines and trouble if they catch you near the wildlife. When you enter they even give you a flier with a graphic drawing of a man being gored by a buffalo. But you can't really stay away from them if they are 5 feet from your RV!

So we cautiously stayed behind our vehicle while the buffalo passed us by. As the last 2 were walking away, we told Jack to run out there so we could take his picture with them. Don't worry Mom. They were farther away than they look and they didn't even notice us.

I love all the geothermal spots in the park. So many colors.

I would like to brag about my wicked photography skills, but honestly, it is impossible to take a bad picture in this place.

One more and then we are done for now. Grand Teton National Park.

After this photo was taken, we started yodeling.

My Dog Died

*Warning this is a long and sad post. Grab a tissue and a chair and read on*

So you know that when things are not going well in my life, I don't post to my blog. I know this worries some of you and I really appreciate your concern. I spent some time reading my entries for the last five months and some haven't been pretty. I saw a lot of sorrow and sadness and depression. That is why I almost did not write about the death of my dog, Emily. I would be writing another downer post.

But I thought more about it and decided to share this story. For me, this blog serves several purposes. It is a creative outlet. It updates and amuses my friends and family. It is a place to showcase my photography and artwork. It is a constant source of horror and embarrassment for my husband. But mostly it is a journal, a memoir if you will, of my life. Of course, I can't share my most private issues with the internet, but I do have a written record of some of the most important moments of my life. And the record will show that the last few months have been kind of hard.

Emily was a part of our lives for 15 years.  She came when Gary and I moved into our first house (well townhouse actually). We already had one dog (Tundra), but now that we were homeowners, I wanted another. I had to promise Gary that if let me get an additional dog, I would never again ask for a cat. Gary hates cats.

Emily was a purebred Golden Retriever. By purebred, I probably mean inbred. She was so sweet and loving, but she had bad hips and, honestly, wasn't the brightest bulb.

Can you believe that there is a web footed animal that doesn't naturally know how to swim? That was Emily. She loved the water. But as soon as she started to swim, her bottom would sink and she would start slapping the water with her paws. This always led to a great game of trying to catch the with her mouth. Eventually she had to be rescued because she would start drowning.

This caused a problem when we took her to dog heaven on Earth - St. Teresa beach. St. Teresa and John's beach house is a place where dogs are allowed to run free on the beach and swim in the warm Gulf of Mexico. Tundra loved St. Teresa beach. That is why we scattered her ashes there when she passed away eight years ago.

When Emily was at the beach, we had to watch her like we would watch a child (this is before we even had kids). She went under more than once.

One day I was at the pet store and found the help that Emily needed - a dog life jacket! Now when she went to the beach, she could swim all she wanted. She looked ridiculous, but it worked.

Once Emily was comfortable in the water, however, she presented us with another problem. Emily had a need to swim to the other side.  In this case, the other side was Mexico! She would just head out swimming toward the horizon. We would call for her to come back, but it was like she was on a mission. Gary or I would have to swim far out to fetch her back to shore.  And there are sharks in that water. Big ones!

The answer came in form of a ski rope. We started tying it to her collar. When she started heading toward open water, we would just reel her in like a big fish. Emily didn't mind. She would just paddle in and do her second favorite thing to do at the beach - roll in the sand.

Emily loved us unconditionally. She accepted each new baby as a member of her family. Honestly, I don't know how anyone with children does it without a dog. She always cleaned the floor of any food that was dropped or thrown. I never had to sweep.

Luke and Emily shared a special relationship. He was the only one of my boys that acknowledged her when he was little. He would pet her head and throw her food.

By the time she was four years old, Emily's face was completely white. It made her look older than she really was. Her hip problems started around that time too.

Two years ago she had a bout with vertigo that we thought would surely take her life. Emily was strong, however, and pulled out of it. But her advanced age was taking its toll. She started having difficulty getting up and walking. Somewhere along the line she went deaf and lost the vision in one eye. She also started showing signs of dementia.

Living with an elderly dog is kind of like living with your senile grandmother. She required a lot more care and she became very demanding. If she wanted to get up, she would bark until you helped her. If she was hungry, she would bark until you fed her. Sometimes her actions were kind of funny.

During the last election, we started calling her John McCain as a joke about John McCain advanced age. One night I let her out in the front yard to do her business. Forgetting how to get back in, she started walking down the road. I went back inside the house in a huff to get my shoes on so that I could go get her.

"What's wrong?' asked Gary.

"John McCain walked away from the White House and now he is halfway down Pennsylvania Avenue!" I replied and we both broke up with laughter.

Of course, I easily caught up with her and like always, she greeted me with a smile. It was as if she was saying, "Oh there you are. I was looking all over for you."

Emily's health started to deteriorate more rapidly in the last few months. She started sleeping much more and when she was awake she whined. We didn't know if she was in pain or if she wanted something. She stopped doing her favorite things like carrying around her toys in her mouth and obsessively licking everything. She used to lick spots into our carpet, earning her the nickname of Lesbian Dog. You make the connection.

The last few weeks of her life she was more disoriented and only woke to go outdoors. When I was honest with myself, I saw that the light had gone out of her eyes. My last memory of her being happy and excited was New Year's Eve when my sister, her family, my parents and neighbor, Mr. Dan came over for a party. She loved having everyone around and slept right in the middle of the action.

But really, how do you decide when to put your dog to sleep?  When I thought about setting a date, it seemed more like an execution. I asked the Universe for a sign. Please, just something to tell me when.

Emily gave me my sign on Mother's Day when I returned home from the Inspired artist workshop in North Carolina. I came home to a puddle of diarrhea and vomit. I cleaned her up only to have it happen again. She was so out of it that when I tried to give her medicine, she bit me.

Just like elderly humans, old dogs can dehydrate rapidly. I knew that I could take her to the emergency vet where they would give her an I.V. and try fight her latest health battle. Or I could give her the gift of letting her go. I talked with her regular vet and we both agreed to see how she did overnight and make the appointment with him in the morning.

She didn't vomit again and had a peaceful night of sleep. Gary and I sat with her and cried often. We told the boys that she was very sick and probably would not make it.

Monday morning came and the vet's office called. I made the appointment for 11:30 that day. Gary could not go with me. He had to go to a business lunch. He said his goodbyes to her when he left for work.

So there we were - just the two of us in my vehicle, my hand scratching top of her head. The same way it was the day I brought her home from the breeder as a puppy.

The Vet had lowered an exam table and covered it with towels. I lifted Emily to it and sat down beside her. I held her head and cried into her fur. That is when Emily gave me the greatest gift. She licked my entire face. I can't remember the last time she did that. I used to yell at her all the time to stop licking me! It was like she was comforting me. Maybe she was saying that thank you and goodbye.

The vet tech gave her something to relax her and her head grew heavy in my hands. I know that she was still with me because every now and then she would open her eyes to look at me. The doctor asked if I was ready and I said yes. I held her sweet head as she slipped away. When I left her, she looked like she was napping peacefully.

I tried to be angry at Gary for making me do that by myself. But couldn't be mad because I wouldn't have had it any other way. Emily was so special and important to me. I'm so glad that could be with her in the end. She was with someone she loved and she wasn't afraid.

I chose to have her cremated. Next time we go to John's beach house, we will scatter her ashes in the Gulf of Mexico. After all, it is dog heaven.

Back To Life, Back To Reality

Ah London... I'm still trying to process it all. How can I love a place so much that has NOTHING to do with my real life? How can I be so happy and content in two places? In London, I am single (as in unattached to kids and a husband and able to make my own decisions - NOT as in single looking for hook up!).  I am completely free and I love it.  At home I have a wonderful husband and a terrific family and I love it too. It is almost like I have split personalities, except my personality is the same in both places.  Maybe I mean I have a double life? I don't know. Maybe I am reading too much into the whole thing. Maybe I should just say I had fun and I can't wait to go again.

So here are some final points about my trip

• Made my goal of 600 pints! Woo Hoo!

• Scone count = 0. Seriously!!! I couldn't find one on any menu or in any bakery. I guess they are out of fashion. But really, no scones???

• Flying first class on an international flight is going to get it's own blog post. It was an experience all itself. I don't know if I will ever be able to fly coach internationally again. Let me sum it up this way. I've been poor and I've sat with rich people. Sitting with rich people is better.

• Bought much more stuff than I expected to buy including enough European sunscreen to take a bath in.

• Loved being in a walking city. I didn't worry about the calories in the pints and Maltesers because I had walked all day long. Like tennis, I would rather just get exercise in the things I like doing, rather spending hours in a stupid gym.

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My first full day back was just awful. I mean it ranks up there in the top 30 Worst Days Ever. It started at 9:00 a.m. with three calls that began with the phrase "Oh, glad you are back..." then went on to the million things I have committed to do.

Then came an issue with Cole that required taking him to the doctor and lots of worrying by me.

Luke faked being sick so that he could come home from school. Of course, I was at the doctor with Cole, so Gary had to get Luke.

Gary informed me that my trip to the Inspired Artist Workshop in May is in jeopardy because he has to go to a golf tournament in North Carolina. 

Cole's teacher called to tell me that he has failed a test both the first and second time that he took it. Also, he is failing to turn in assignments. This means that I am going to have to take a more active role in his classes so that he will get his butt in gear.

All this with jet lag and about 2 hrs of sleep after 24 hours of traveling. I ended up crying in bed with covers over my head!

I'm supposed to go from breakfast in bed every day to this???  Can't I just ease back into things?

Anyway today is better and I have lots of photos, videos and memories to get me through the rough spots - like this photo of my last night in London. It was taken in a beautiful pub at Liverpool Street Station. 

Steve, Mark and Holly. Miss them. Miss the pubs. Miss the pints.

Hello March, Hello Internet

I've been gone for a month! Not gone from home - just gone from the internet. I have been recovering. Recovering from JANUARY! Yes internet, I have just experienced THE WORST JANUARY EVER!

I had to change my fearLESS banner. I think God took it as a dare. Like "So you think you are going to worry less?  Well how about now? and now? and now?"

I try to stay optimistic and keep a positive attitude. In that spirit, I can honestly say that I am so grateful that no one is dead or seriously ill and Gary's job seems stable. I am so thankful for that. When I say that it was the worst January ever, well it could have been so much worse. But when you are going through something, it can be hard to keep that perspective.

It was not one big horrible thing that happened. It was more like a bad thing, then another bad thing, then another bad thing, then the final bad thing (although you don't know it is the final one until the whole thing is over).

But ahhhh...... February. Things settled down in February. No more bad news. I was able to get enough distance from the bad things that they no longer seemed impossible. Actually, when I look back on things now I somehow think "Why was I so freaked out?" But I am talking from distance and perspective now, internet. 20/20 hindsight they say.

I don't like to be Debbie Downer on my blog. Who wants to read about someone whining about their life? I want to be witty. I want to be informative. I want to write things in such a way that when I read them over in a few years, everything look so much better than it actually was.

Oh stop judging! We all do it. How many photos do you have of your kid's first birthday? How many photos do you have of your grandmother's funeral? 'Nuff said.

Anyway, in the next few days I will blog about a couple of things that happened in January. Not because I am trying to be more honest about the past. (By the way, forgetting the bad things in the past make it so much easier to forgive.) The things I will blog about are things that are going to effect my future. They are now a big part of my life and I can't just ignore them here.

So, I am back. I am writing. I am taking pictures. I am creating AND I am getting ready to go on a trip to London! Woot! Woot!

Resolutions in Review

Thinking about my resolutions for the new year and looking back at 2008. Good thing I have this blog because now I can be reminded of my failure to achieve me goals every year. So let's time warp back to January of 2008.

1.  I resolve to see Bruce Springsteen in concert (specifically on April 20th) - Thought I was going to screw this one up when the Boss had to cancel our Orlando show due to the death of bandmate Danny Federici. But Bruce never lets me down and rescheduled for a couple of a days later. Great show.  I also overachieved this resolution. I saw Bruce TWICE. Kim and I headed to Jacksonville and caught his second visit to Florida.  My goal for the next tour: see every appearance in Florida. 

2.  Something that I am doing with my friend, Kim - I resolve to learn (actually relearn because I knew it once) the choreography to the video "Thriller" and perform it at one of our cul-de-sac parties. Yikes, kept putting this one off. Now Kim is out of town and there are only 2 more days left in 2008! Might have to add this one to 2009.

3.  More seriously, I resolve to lose 20 lbs.  My weight is creeping back up.  If I don't stop it, it will just get harder and harder to get it off.  This is more of a fact than a resolution.  It will happen.  I will start moving again and watching my sugar/carb intake.  I simply feel better and have more energy when I do.  Lord knows I need to feel better and have more energy. Nailed this one! Started the year off in a weight loss contest with Gary. First one to lose 10% of their body weight won. Gary went after it with gusto, but once again, the tortoise beats the hare and I win in October! Playing a lot of tennis really helped.

4.  I resolve to make one ATC (artist trading card) a week.  I am going to follow Emily Falconbridge's 52 prompts from last year.  Surely I can eek out one small piece of creativity week. Okay, I started this with the best intentions, but stopped in about March. If I can't do a once a week thing, Lord help me with the daily resolution I have for next year.

5.  I resolve to make at least one layout a month from my Jenni Bowlin kits.  I love getting her monthly kits, but I am scrapbooking so little that I don't use much of it. Oh my, no only did I not do this, I CANCELED my Jenni Bowlin kits! Somewhere around June, I decided that I needed a change. So, I canceled Jenni and started Cocoa Daisy. I must say, however, that I have made at least a project or a card from each Cocoa Daisy kit I received. Worth the cost, probably not. But I just can't resist that kitted, paper goodness.

6.  I resolve to write our wills and see a financial planner.  This is the same resolution that I make every year and never do.  I think I will actually do it this year.  Some things have changed in our lives that make this more necessary.  Also I have been doing a lot of things that suck this year.  What is one more thing to add to my "Things I Have To Do That Suck list?" Did this finally get done? In a word, no. But I got my father-in-law's will done. Does that count? I still have two days left and I have made e-mail contact with an attorney who might do it for us.

7.  I resolve to go to bed a little earlier so that I can function earlier in the morning and perhaps get more done. I am a work in progress and that is all I am going to say about that.

Okay, so if I tally it all up, that makes 2 accomplished and 5 attempted with a little bit of succuess. Tune in January 1 for 2009 resolutions. There will be some oldies that continue to make the list and some new ones that involve travel and anti-aging.

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ONE LITTLE WORD. Start thinking about your one little word for 2009. You can find more information about it here. My past words - 2007 Do, 2008 Bloom. You'll find out mine in January.

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I just found out I won a cool prize from a blog drawing.

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Having my sister and her family, my mom and dad and anyone else who shows up to my house on New Year's Eve. My house is a wreck and there is poop on the floor from two different animals! I'm am just going to relax and enjoy the blessing of friends, family and new year.

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Had one of the best Christmas' ever. It was overflowing with many different and wonderful surprises and blessings. Hope you can say the same.

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Uploaded a few photos to Flickr from a photo shoot with my parents that I couldn't post until now. For those of you that just can't manage another mouse click, here is one of them

Christmas Goodness in Full Swing

Hello bloggity readers on the world wide web. It would be redundant to say that I have been busy. But it is the Christmas season and I know that, just like me, you are all overwhelmed and crazy. But I have the seasonal cure. DRINK ADULT EGG NOG. Seriously, only once a year do you have such an excuse to indulge in high fat, sugar, cholesterol and alcohol. Imbibe internet! And that's all I will say about that.

This year, many people are getting handmade gifts from me.  I'm not blaming the economy and trying to be frugal.  I am just trying to simplify. There are people on my list that really don't NEED or WANT FOR anything. What do you get these people? More stuff? Just for the sake of giving a gift? So for these people, I have decided to give something of and from me.

I hope they like it, because I guarantee that I spent a lot of time on it and I wouldn't have bothered if they were not VERY special to me. So, unless I found the "perfect" gift for you, I am making the perfect gift.

I can't wait to post some pics, but some will have to wait until AFTER Christmas.  Here, however, is one thing.  I made this blanket for a teacher/friend who is expecting her third girl any day.  Once again I thought, "This girl has two kids worth of baby stuff and is getting more daily. I don't want to give her more STUFF. I want to give her something special."

I call it "Reinventing the Wheel."

Sorry for the stinky photos.

Why such a name for a pink baby blanket? Because I couldn't find a pattern, so I just made it up. I don't mean that in an "I'm so creative I can design my own patterns" way. I mean I didn't know what I was doing and it took forever.

I based it on a blanket that I saw on another website, but there were no directions. The whole time that I was cutting fabric the wrong size and trimming things that weren't straight and tearing out uneven seems, I was thinking that somewhere there were directions for what I was doing. Someone had tried this and failed and worked on it until it was perfect, then sold that knowledge in the form of a pattern. I am figuring out what someone has already thought out!

It ended up looking like I made it in my 7th grade home ec class.  But, if I had wanted to give her a perfect blanket, I would have bought one.

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This is one of the reasons I am so glad that school is finally out for Christmas break. These are all of the teacher and staff gifts that I took to school with me on Friday. Actually, this story deserves it own post, so I will hold off for now. Let's just leave it at I had a hard time delivering them all because I was one of the mothers in charge of the second grade Christmas party.  Thanks to Blair, Jackie and Tiffany who let me be somewhat of a slacker.

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Finally, the most important part of this post. Don't let anyone ever say that reading blogs is a waste of time because this time you will learn something worth $5.00.

Costco has the big mega bottles of Grey Goose Vodka on sale for $5 off through Christmas Eve. They also have Bailey's for $3.00 off. Stock up people because this is a good deal. It doesn't go bad, so buy as many as you can afford. I could only afford 2 so it will only last me through next week.

Sinus Infection, Ear Infection = Sick Mommy

Went to the walk-in clinic today and got this diagnosis.  YAY! I am so happy!  I am not being sarcastic. I mean it made my day.

Why?  Because now I have justification for feeling like crap. It has been almost two weeks now. I've had a headache and stuffy nose, but my biggest symptom is TOTAL exhaustion. I sleep every free moment I have. Nothing is getting done. Everything is a huge effort. I hate it.

I took two days last week and allowed myself to sleep all day and all night. I told my body that that was all I was giving it.  But, it wanted more and more and more.

Now I have and antibiotic! I have the "you are eventually going to feel better pills." I also have permission from a medical professional to take it easy on myself. Perfect.

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Yesterday, the boys and I went to Aquatica.  No, I didn't feel like going to a water park, but we tried to go twice over the summer and were turned away at the gate. Sold out! So I promised that I would take them on Parent/Teacher conference day. Every other kid should have been in school, so it would be nice.

It was a beautiful day, a little chili if the wind blew when you were wet. I didn't go on any of the slides to protect my back and shoulder.  While I waited for the boys to emerge from watery tubes, I ...... SLEPT!

Overall, it was a really nice day.

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The jury results are in from the competition that I entered. Over 1900 entrants and only 50 were chosen. Mine was not one of them. I am so okay with it because the entries that got in were spectacular.  Check them out here.

I'll keep working and improving and one day I will shots as amazing as this. But, right now, I was WAY out of my league. Okay, except for one.  There is one that got in that I think mine is better.

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Really tired, got to go take a nap. It's okay.  I'm sick.

This is Me Breathing

*edited* Check out my new link on the right to subscribe to my photography newsletter. No newsletter yet, but what comes first, the newsletter or the subscribers?*

I know you must be tired of my posts about how busy I am.  I mean isn't everybody crazy busy?  Well, the past four weeks for me have been a giant pressure cooker.  I didn't really realize how hard it had been until Thursday, which marked the end of my trial by fire as Parent Club President. Seriously after our first Parent Club meeting on Thursday, I felt like I had been hit by a truck.

Don't get me wrong. Everything went really well at the meeting.  As a matter of fact, Mrs. Stroup (our Head of School) said that it was the best meeting she had ever been to - fun and energetic. But after 'Meet Your Teacher" (of which I was completely in charge), a Board of Trustees meeting, 2 open houses and the first meeting, I felt this giant release of stress flow from my body. I'll be Parent Club President throughout the rest of the school year, but the big, major things are over for me.

Let's not forget that during the past 4 weeks, school has started, football (both flag and FSU) has started, I celebrated my 40th birthday (hosted my own party), mourned my friend, took care of two sick kids requiring 3 doctor visits and 2 x-rays and had the interior of my house painted. Oh yeah and my tennis league started playing matches.

So, what did I do Thursday afternoon and all day Friday?  Nothing. I took a nap. I bought new shoes for tennis. I worked on a flag that I am making for Luke and Jack's football team. I watched Martha Stewart, Project Runway and Oprah.

I didn't do laundry. I didn't cook dinner. I made Luke unload the dishwasher.

I didn't even have time to shop ...even online!

So I made up for that today. I indulged some of my passions (strange obsessions, perhaps???) and did a little bidding on ebay.

I won this

It is a type tray that used to hold letter plates for letterpress. Have I mentioned my fixation on letterpress?  Love it. Love to run my fingers over it. Want my own letterpress.

What am I going to do with this you ask?  Hang it on the wall and fill it with photos, bits of paper and all sorts of crap and nonsense.

I also hope I win this:

It is an eleven inch woodtype antique letterpress letter H. Another decoration for my wall.

*edited - I didn't win this!  Uhrgggg!*

Then I headed over to a favorite scrapbooking site to order another love of mine - paper. Yes, I know that I have stacks and stacks of paper goodness, but they were offering free shipping! Besides, it feeds my fantasy of making all sorts of Christmas crafty things that I never have time to do.

I bought this because my new love is the color gray with mustard yellow. I am going to use these colors on my new photography website. Also notice the luscious orange that makes me salivate

I also, bought this collection for its fantastic graphic goodness

Remember my chocolate brown, light blue and red Christmas cards last year?  Love that combination. I bought a few other things, but I am too embarrassed to show you.

Speaking of photography, I also uploaded three photos to be considered for jury and show at the Center for Fine Art Photography in Colorado. The exhibit is called Art in Nature and I really only had one image that I thought qualified.  But since my entry fee included 3 photographs, I found 2 others from our ski trip to Breckenridge last January that I submitted.

Results will be posted on September 26th.

For your consideration:

Ocean Spilled

Red Reed Creek

and Wooden Brushstrokes

Bullets of What I Have Been Up To

• Did I post this picture in March? Well I have to post it again because I went to another Bruce Springsteen concert. This time I went to Jacksonville with my friend, Kim, who missed him when he was in Orlando. Oh my, no one in the world gives a better concert. He just feeds off the energy of the audience. We love him and he loves us. He rocks my world.

• Met new friend at concert who came all the way from London. He says Bruce is huge in Europe. Told him that I would call him when I get to London next August.  Our convo will go something like this:

Me: "Hey, it's Lori from Florida. I just landed at Heathrow."

Him: "Who???"  Holding the phone out talking to a friend - "It's some girl. Sounds American."

• Made my Parent Club presidential debut at the Ambassador's Picnic this afternoon. Looked appropriate and conservative in my Lilly Pultizer skort. I bought 2 Lilly outfits that I call my presidential costume. Going to hold off on wearing my pink hair extensions until later in the year.

• Boys went on a ten day camping trip with Gary and Granddaddy.  I was home alone.  Amazing. I was paralyzed with all the choices I had.  Ended up watching lots of TV.  Who knew I was missing vegging out in front of the tube so much??  Also visited with friends, saw 2 movies and started a new painting. Stayed up WAY too late and slept late a few mornings.  Ordered a new wall unit.  Had new floor installed.  Chose paint colors. And yes, I worked. Did Parent Club stuff. Finished a photo shoot order. Did some Outsource work.

• Wish Claudine was still here so we could have played while the boys were gone.

• School starts on Wednesday.  My big presidential event - Meet Your Teacher is Tuesday.  I've got lots of little things to take care of.  I'm sure I will forget something really important, like actually meeting my kids' teachers... or my bra.

• Hurricane may delay Meet Your Teacher or start of school.  Why God??????

• Kim and I listened to Oprah's latest book love A New Earth on the way home from Jacksonville.  We are looking forward to becoming the only ones on our block whose consciousness has evolved.

• Definitely have Olympic fever. So nice to be proud of America and our athletes.  Remember when you were little and they used to have the medal ceremony and you would pretend that you were getting the gold medal. They would play the national anthem and you cried like it was the greatest moment in your life. And you waved to the imaginary crowd and everybody loved you? You never did that? Uh yeah, me neither.

• I won my imaginary gold medals in gymnastics.  What was your event?

• I'm about to hire a real replacement for imaginary Sharon. Yipee! Her name is (are you ready for this?) Karen.  And Karen rhymes with what????? Sharon! I forgot to ask if she can make the perfect Cosmopolitan, but I can always teach her.